Barf

(TW: Discussion of and multiple drawings depicting vomiting)

Anyone who has paid much attention to my social media profile pictures over the past couple years has probably noticed a trend. Every now and then, I will change my icon to an image of my alien-sona barfing up goo. Like so:

It started with this art I created for Pride Month in 2021. I was going through some nasty anxiety surrounding my gender identity and how folks like me are treated, and so I didn't feel like drawing my usual cheerful Pride artwork.

Over the following two years, there were several events that triggered other, more severe anxiety attacks. So I continued to create similar images, as they seemed like the best way to express exactly how I felt.

My anxiety often comes with nausea. Not so bad that I actually vomit, but certainly enough to ruin my appetite. Sometimes I feel like it would help to actually puke my guts out, because at least something would be coming of it, instead of just quietly trembling like a nervous chihuahua.

It's like when you feel a little less sad after having a really good cry.

Since I'm not about to intentionally make myself vomit, drawing it to get those feelings out is really the next best thing.